Why is it that we can set ourselves goals we’d love to achieve, and yet fail to take the steps to make them happen?
We have an idea of what we’d like to create, and even how we can begin to move towards it.
And yet we don’t.
Why is that?
It’s because we choose comfort over growth. Safety over risk. Ease over challenge.
If we are seeking comfort we are resisting growth opportunities.
We can either be comfortable or growing. Growth offers much deeper fulfilment.
In order to create things we don’t have already, in our career, our relationships, our health or finances, we need to go beyond the known and familiar to bring those goals about.
But it can be scary to move into unfamiliar territory. To not know whether we’ll achieve what we want with our efforts, to be unsure whether we might fail or be rejected.
The fear of those outcomes can lead to us staying within our comfort zones, where we perceive things are familiar, predictable and safe.
We can tell ourselves we didn’t really want to achieve that goal anyway.
Or that we don’t have time, because people need our help and that is more important than our goals.
We might even think that we’re just not capable of making it happen, so we should just give up the dream and focus on what we know.
Staying with what’s familiar and predictable can lead to boredom, self-criticism and lethargy.
We know that we’re capable of so much more than we’re achieving. And we want more.
When we choose comfort, we become stagnant, and our physical energy diminishes, creating a lack of motivation. It can lead us to compensate through food, alcohol, shopping and other addictions.
Choosing comfort offers short-term gain for long-term disappointment and dissatisfaction.
People stay in relationships or careers that don’t nourish them, to avoid pain, upheaval and criticism.
That means there’s a constant denial of that desire for something more inspiring and fulfilling.
So how to combat this?
You’ve achieved goals in the past – you’ve finished courses, entered and maintained relationships, worked on your physical health and fitness, earned and saved money. Felt hurt, rejected, tired….And still achieved what you wanted.
What challenges did you face and how did you rise to them? You will use the same skills to reach new goals.
First, choose what you would love. Keep choosing that as you meet challenges. Be alert to the urge to go back inside your comfort zone. Stay awake to the fears and excuses that will arise to derail you.
Then, take steps towards that goal. Ask yourself what is the next obvious step. And if the goal seems too big and overwhelming, remember the way to eat an elephant – one step at a time.
As you take each step the way forward becomes clearer. It may be very different from what you imagined in the beginning. But if you keep focusing on the vision of what you’d love to achieve, and asking what is the next obvious step, you will find the appropriate action to take at each stage.
Just like this little daisy, you have a potential to fulfil. You can grow and bloom in even the most challenging circumstances.
I was so inspired by the way this plant had set seed, grown and bloomed in a crack in the concrete beside a busy road. You won’t know the ways in which taking action to create what you love will impact others – in your family, social circle and the wider world.
Going for what you’d really love isn’t selfish – it benefits others who see you fulfilling your dreams and may feel inspired to fulfil theirs.
And the world becomes a better place for every one of us who takes the uncomfortable actions in order to create what they truly want for themselves.
I’d love to hear how you’ve chosen growth over comfort in the past.
Touch base if you’d like to know how I can help you to create more of what you love.