The dog in the front is Bonnie – the one in the cubby is Ruby!
Anyway, I’ve kept studying this problem and I thought I’d share my three best solutions for reducing feelings of overwhelm.
1. Mind What You Say To Your Mind
Constantly telling ourselves and others that we are feeling overwhelmed just adds to this feeling. It reinforces the neural pathways in the brain that confirm the feelings of frustration and lack of control as a reality.
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Stop saying you feel overwhelmed.
Whenever you think “I feel overwhelmed”, say instead “I need clarity right now”.
This connects us into the pre-frontal cortex, the executive centre of the brain. It allows us to feel that we are in control. That we can manage.
From that space, we are more able to make clear decisions about what is most important.
We often have more things on our to do list than it is ever possible to achieve.
It’s essential to ask ourselves
Which items is it important for me to do?
With the remaining items on the list ask yourself –
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Which items am I wise to let someone else do? ( See Solution 2)
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Which items on my list can I let go of altogether? (See Solution 3)
2. Delegate
If you’re thinking “I can’t do it all” you’re probably right!
Trying to do everything can be a habit, whether in the workspace or in other areas of your life.
What are you doing that can be done by someone else?
Yes, it may involve training others or teaching family members to step up.
It is wise to see how delegating to others is a benefit to them.
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Do they gain skills?
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Will they have an opportunity to become more independent?
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Will they become more engaged, take greater ownership of projects or daily tasks?
It’s not unusual to be challenged a few times to check if you’re serious about a new habit. If you’re a busy person, delegating may be a new habit for you.
Hang in there.
Be persistent.
3. Clarify what is really important (Watch out for the word SHOULD!)
Feelings of overwhelm often flag a conflict between what is truly important to us and what we think we SHOULD be doing. In fact ‘should’ is a great word to catch in our thinking. Let me explain.
We each have a set of things which are important to us. Which we value.
Everyone has different values.
It is vital for us to understand our unique set of values if we want to enjoy greater wellbeing whilst achieving our goals.
Each of us will do whatever is necessary to achieve what is truly important to us, whether it’s
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Building a career
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Nurturing a family
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Maintaining a social network
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Achieving fitness goals
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Staying in tune with fashion or music
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Following our sports heroes and teams
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Travelling, reading, writing, singing, bodybuilding, cooking……
You get my drift?
Life would be less complicated if we just followed our own values.
Instead, we often take on other peoples’ values –
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parents
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siblings
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teachers
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employers/mentors
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people we’ve looked up to throughout life
We can feel torn between doing something that is important to us and other things we think we ‘should’ do.
Those things may well have been the right thing for someone else and we’ve taken them on board as gospel.
We each have a unique gift to bring to the world. We can’t do that if we are always trying to do what’s important to us as well as what’s important to others.
It doesn’t mean that we can’t accommodate or connect with what’s important to others.
Did I think I’d have hip hop playing at full bore in my living room before I had teenagers? No……!
What it means is that we become clearer about how we manage our finite resources – time, energy, money.
So, to recap.
When you feel overwhelmed, say “I need clarity right now”.
Become clear about what is most important to do.
Decide what can be delegated then start delegating!
Remember that you and everyone in your life has a unique set of values.
Catch yourself saying “should” “must” “ought to” and ask yourself – is this really the most important thing for me to be doing right now?
“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.
The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do.
You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.”
Amelia Earhart. Aviation pioneer.
