A new year and other changes

At this time of year we hear lots of talk about making new year’s resolutions. The urge to make resolutions about committing to doing things differently comes from the part of us that wants something more in our lives. At the start of a new year, when things are fresh, we envisage more possibilities and our resolutions can be an expression of the changes we would love to see.

Resolutions might be about our health – committing to more exercise, eating less or eating more healthily, getting more sleep, quitting or cutting down on alcohol or cigarettes or other things that we know are toxic to our body.

They might be about building wealth – , improving our income, committing to a savings plan, making decisions about spending less on items which really aren’t helping us to build our financial position.

Or they might be about the time and energy we are going to commit to building a business, to moving our career in a direction that we foresee as being more rewarding, more inspiring for us.

Maybe our goals are about creating a better balance between work commitments and family time. Or about improving our relationships, committing the time and energy to improving communication with people in our family or friendship circle from whom we might have become distant.

Or perhaps the relationship is ticking over on a superficial level, and we would like to have a deeper and more meaningful connection.

It could be about taking the steps necessary to bring about the romantic relationship that we’d love to have……

But then, the other thing we hear at this time of year is how infrequently most of us stick to resolutions that we’ve made. It’s no surprise that gyms and fitness coaches promote special deals around the new year, because they know that this is the time when we are likely to jump into a decision to do things differently. And we will commit to programs and payments in order to push us, to help us to make the change that we’d love to see become a reality.

So if we have this desire, and we are prepared to commit time to making a resolution, and perhaps the funds to join a gym or a dating website or an online program to teach us how to build a new career ……………..

Why can’t we stick to our resolutions?

One of the main reasons is that we make resolutions that are unrealistic and it’s a bit of a fantasy of what we would love to see in our lives. Therefore we don’t take the necessary action, because it doesn’t really seem like we would ever attain such a goal. We might love the idea of the lifestyle and status that comes with a particular career or business, but we have no real interest in working the long hours or confronting the challenges that would bring about that change.

So one of the key steps if we want to make changes is to set a realistic goal.

Another reason we don’t succeed in bringing about these changes is because they are not actually meaningful to us. Perhaps there is somebody else in our lives that we are deferring to and we think we ‘should’ be making these changes because it is what they would do, or what they will approve of us doing. If you don’t really have a desire for a six pack or the capacity to run a marathon or the interest in being your own boss, you will only feel frustrated by setting goals to attain those things.

Our resolutions or goals can only work if they are an expression of something that is really meaningful to us.

The third key thing about making changes in our lives is that it is important to break a big goal down into small, manageable steps. If you think about anything you’ve ever done that required planning and commitment, it will have involved countless individual decisions and actions.

If you travelled overseas, completed a renovation, organised a big function or project, it might have begun with a vision and then that was broken down into manageable steps.

For example, if it was an overseas trip – the first decision was where to go, when and for how long.

Perhaps it was tied to an event overseas and the dates worked around that. Then leave from work had to be organised.

Then research was conducted on flight costs, transport – trains, planes, hire cars…..

There were checks on visas and other travel documents necessary, injections that might be needed.

Decisions were made about how to organise money while travelling – foreign currency, credit or debit cards…

Then what was left behind – did a house need to be cared for, a garden watered by a neighbour, pets fed and cared for….

Any project we would love to bring to fruition involves similar stages and steps. So if you have a goal that is meaningful to you and you’ve ever bought any other project to completion, then that goal is achievable in the same way – by breaking it down into manageable tasks and reasonable time frames.

Any goal you would love to achieve can happen if you take small consistent action steps in that direction

Contact me if you’d love some help to get clear about goals that will work for you and the steps needed to bring them to fruition.

Read my blog for tips to achieve your goals